Saturday, July 09, 2005

alone.

When I am alone for long amounts of time there is no one to referee my thoughts and keep me from poisoning myself with the bad ones. I've found that I tend to rely on other humans to do that for me. Not good, if I plan to spend the next few years living alone. I need to learn self-fixing behaviors. Like, if I get down on myself, I need to take a deep breath and tell myself to focus on some of the good things. Jessie, when I get really down, tells me to focus on one day at a time. JJ just refuses to tolerate my bad moods - a good strategy. But soon I'm going to need to teach myself to do this independently. Part of growing up, I guess, becoming more and more self-sufficient. It's wonderful and daunting at the same time.

But now it is time to go try to be responsible and see what I can accomplish with the day. I do know I have pictures to retrieve, and I just might make a photo blog if they turn out nicely.

1 Comments:

Blogger Jess said...

"But soon I'm going to need to teach myself to do this independently. Part of growing up, I guess, becoming more and more self-sufficient. It's wonderful and daunting at the same time."

I know it is scary, darling, but you can do it. Imagine the freedom you will feel when you don't have to turn to the outside to fix inside "stuff" . . . it will be unlike anything you've ever felt before. :) You are already making a huge step - admitting that you need some help with it, and are willing to work on it. Be gentle with yourself, my dear - all self-improvement takes time, but I know you will get there.

By the way, just in case I haven't said it before, you are beautiful! I saw your photos and you, dearest, look stunning. :)

Some day I am going to learn not to be so verbose in my comments and emails. *sigh* Oh well. LOVE YOU! *big hugs*

July 09, 2005 5:21 PM  

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