Tuesday, January 24, 2006

broken.

I have felt myself breaking down in the past week or so.
Now I'm broken.
I'm at the bottom, and the trip up to the top is so. very. steep.
I am so overwhelmed that I can't even bring myself to pick up the metaphorical bike and start to walk.
I just want to go to sleep.
I don't want to wake up.
at all.
ever.

I don't want to be right now.
No matter how many good things I try to concentrate on, it doesn't matter.
I just don't want to be.

I am broken

and I sure as hell don't care about fixing myself.

I just want to sleep.

If I can't sleep,
I want to be held and loved.

But I can't have or do either.

4 Comments:

Blogger trusty getto said...

So sorry. Hugs from me.

You probably know what's best, but let me share what I do. I listen to music, or I play. Put on a CD, or pick up your intstrument, and maybe that'll take you somewhere else for a bit.

January 25, 2006 12:06 PM  
Blogger Sonja said...

Hang in there hon!

January 26, 2006 4:01 PM  
Blogger Pliable said...

Face piles
And piles
Of trials
With smiles
It riles them to believe
That you perceive
The web they weave
And keep on thinking free.


Moody Blues, On the Threshold of a Dream from 1969, which is much too early for you to know the song - lucky girl.

January 26, 2006 4:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ma chère Emily , je n ' étais pas chez moi cette semaine et j ' avais accès à un ordinateur qui ne comportait pas ma liste de " favoris " dont tok blog site " journeys " . Je n ' ai pas pu répondre à ton commentaire et je m ' aperçois que de ce fait je n ' ai pas pu te féliciter de ton grade officiel de professeur de musique . Je suis très heureux pour toi .Compliments .
Le blog ci - dessus me laisse un peu perplexe . Je crois que ce que tu ressens est une impression de vide après une grande joie ou une grande émotion . Cela me semble normal . Ne t 'inquiète donc pas et pense à ton évolution positive .
Amitié à toi
Michel ( fauquet de Xanga )

January 28, 2006 12:11 PM  

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