Sunday, April 30, 2006

stolen from Sherri

I haven't been posting on this blog in a while... the past couple weeks have been tough, and have forced me to examine some things about my past and my future. It's become a very personal struggle, and the only people who really would understand are the people who know who is involved in said struggle.

To make a long story short:
1. my favorite prof was denied tenure.
2. a bunch of alumni wrote to the dean in his support, to say "this is wrong, give him tenure."
3. I decided to write too.
4. I had trouble writing my letter, even though this is my favorite educator of all time, simply because I'm a flute player.

explanation: the flute professor hates this other professor, and so I became caught in the middle, because I liked other professor and was not afraid to say so. As a result, I was one of the top players in the studio, but I received little respect (if any) simply because of my good rapport with said prof.

I could go into WHY the flute prof hates the other prof, but it's such a long story, and it's really ridiculous, and it made me lose a lot of respect for the man who made it possible for me to be as good as a flute player as I am today.

So I'm still caught in the middle and bitter about it, so I won't do that. I wrote my letter in support, and it was well-written and professional. And I struggled and hurt and still can't believe the hurt is as fresh today as it was 4 years ago.

Imagine! The finest flute teacher I've ever worked with saying to me:
"You know, E, I just can't imagine you as a music teacher."

and as I exited other prof's office,

"so, coming out of your apartment? That's where you live, isn't it?"

and then saying in front of his entire studio,
"as if I give a damn what [other professor] thinks!"

So I lost respect for the guy as a person, but I still owe him almost all of my musicianship. That kills me.

OK, so the meme.

I'm supposed to state 6 weird or unconventional things about myself. Most of you already know that I'm pretty darn unconventional. Here goes:

1. When I get too warm, there is nothing I love more than putting a clean pair of socks in the freezer for half an hour and then putting them on. whoosh!

1a (this is still about socks): I am obsessed with matching my socks perfectly. So much so that I even put a permanent marker dot of a unique color on each sock every time I buy a new set. This way, I don't get my "batches" confused if I have similar batches of socks. Compulsive? yes. Effective? also yes.

2. If I take Amoxicilin (the antibiotic), I become lactose intolerant. Oddly enough, no other antibiotics have this effect on me.

3. I must wear plain white cotton socks to bed, or I can't sleep.

4. I can't sleep if my legs are not in pajama pants, regardless of how hot it is. I hate the feeling of sheets on bare legs. Especially if I have not shaved within the last 12 hours. (I'm a hairy girl.)

5. If I'm hungry and I DON'T want to eat, I watch the food network, because it makes me lose my appetite.

6. I still have nightmares about my abusive ex. No kidding.

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